Morning Gratitude – Day 163-2018: A Feeling Heart

There is a cost associated with a feeling heart. I’m sure a few of me heard this story, but I’ll share it with those who have not and as a reminder to myself. Over 30 years ago I experienced an event that left me in a corner where it felt as if my tears were coming from the blood meant for my heart. As I sobbed, I asked God never to take my feelings away. Somehow I knew my experiences could cause me to numb out. My young mind equated a numb heart to a cold heart.

A Feeling Heart Feels Everything

Yesterday afternoon, as I hung out with my five rock stars (my four-legged tribe members), I received a series of text that left a feeling girl like me doing what I asked for many years ago – feeling. Although I knew it was meant to hurt me and it was manipulation at its finest, it broke my heart. I sobbed like there was no tomorrow. My tribe had no idea what to do. They felt my pain, and until that point, they had only experienced my joy.

My Gratitude

As bad as I felt yesterday, I know it is a debt I pay for an open heart. A few people in my life are capable of causing my heart to ache; however, if I close my heart to pain don’t get to experience joy. I thank God for that little girl in me that had the sense to ask God to keep her heart alive. I don’t know if this 48-year-old woman would have that same spiritual instinct. My joy outweighs my heartache. So even as shitty as that felt yesterday and as worn down as I feel today, joy still comes at a bargain. I know there is no joy without pain.

Most days gratitude makes me leap ahead, and some days I just feebly limp forward. It gives me perspective, even on a bad day and that’s a blessing.

Embrace your feelings whether they make you feel good or bad. It just means that your heart is alive. Next time, something makes you so bad that you want to turn your heart off, remember if you don’t want to feel heartache, you won’t feel joy as well.

Jump start your attitude with gratitude!

xoxo

Jowanna