I just finished a contract for a client doing work that I loved and working with an awesome group of people. Just like with anything else in life, I hit a few rough spots. One of those rough spots included being in a position where I was forced to partner with someone who did not have the highest integrity and always needed to feel like she was saving the world–even if it was at the expense of others. That in itself would have been just a mere annoyance if she was not in a position of authority.
When first faced with this challenge, I panicked. I was in a horrible place (mentally for two weeks). But I was able to pull myself out of that place enough to see the bigger picture. I could not let this person cast a shadow on the fact that I loved what I do and I could not let what seemed huge at the time ruin a wonderful experience. Instead, I used the situation to hopefully improve the environment for others. There were other members of the senior staff who were able to grow from learning how they contributed to a bad situation and how it felt not to be supported. At the end, I think those who needed to grow grew (present company included)…and I noted one or two who would be on my NOT list.
Ultimately I learned that I was going to quit working on the wrong things. So here is a list of things I will not work on.
The Things I am Not Going to Work to Improve
- I am not going to work on being able to work in an environment where someone in a position of authority over me is emotionally or morally corrupt. Instead, I will get the hell out of Dodge.
- I will not work on relationships with liars even if they are family. Instead, I will remove them from my network. My heart knows no other way but to be wide open. I need to believe people when they show me who they are.
- I will accept defeat when it comes to loving loved ones more than they love me. Instead, I will mourn the loss of whom I wanted the person to be and celebrate when I realize it leaves me room to work on healthy relationships.
- I will not work on being less trusting because I’ve been burned. Instead, I will work on “listening” to people’s actions and trusting those in my inner circle who are good at spotting frauds.