My uncle, the model father
While I may have met him when I was a young kid in Panama, but I don’t remember knowing him until 1987. As a fatherless gal, it did not take long for me to wish my uncle was my dad. My Uncle Pablo is my uncle through marriage. He is married to my Great-Aunt, Glory (who is just as awesome btw).
He takes care of his family
I lived with my Aunt Glory and Uncle Pablo for about six months. I had taken a break from college and they invited me to come up. At that time, my youngest cousin was in high school and his sisters were young adults — one in college and the other a newlywed. While I was only 18, I could see he set his children up for success. My older cousin and her husband lived with them for a while. It gave them the support that often young couples need to help with financial stability.
None of the children was forced out of the home too early. He and my aunt raised hard-working kids and grounded them in the importances of education and family. All three of my cousins received their college degrees and are contributing members of society.
He takes care of family
My aunt and uncle have had many family members live with them. I was one of those many. Often times extending your home to family means that you sign up for some punishment. Most of us have grown to appreciate and respect the sacrifices they made to help others. When you have people live in your home, it changes the family dynamics and everyone has to adjust.
He says sorry
I think the main thing I love about my uncle is the fact that he acknowledges that he is human and he apologizes when he’s wrong. My initial stay with my aunt and uncle did not end so well. At the the time I was going through a lot of internal turmoil and felt like I did not belong anywhere. The shock of the events of the past five years of my life had transformed into a deep sadness. It ranged from the sudden death of my mom (and loss of my family) to experiencing my first broken heart. The events in between that range were just as devastating.
At that time I was not comfortable dating nor was I comfortable around any males except family. Because I did not talk about what was bothering me (honestly, I didn’t have the vocabulary), I was most definitely misunderstood. I felt like a nobody; I felt ugly; I felt unworthy; and I felt shame. This was frustrating to my family. Needless to say, my family was happy when I left. I now see how disruptive and uncomfortable my withdrawal was for my uncle’s home. I left May, 1988.
In 2000, my uncle pulled me aside at a vacation in Florida. By then, I had long forgotten about our rough start because it was filled with years of getting to know each other. By then he and my dear aunt always managed to make me feel special. We worked hard on our relationship.
During that vacation my uncle apologized for voicing his frustration that day he drove me to the airport in 1988. I do believe it was raining that day he drove me and I cried during my flight. I did not remember that day until he told me he wanted to apologize for not understanding what I must have been going through. He had recently lost his mom and he said even though he was in his sixties, the loss was overwhelming…even at his age.
I don’t think my Uncle Pablo knows how much that meant to me. To hear someone say sorry for something I blamed myself for, validated me as a person. It validated that as a young adult, I should have been given more understanding and less impatience. Writing this just brings tears to my eyes.
Thank you, Uncle Pablo, for making the 18-year-old girl in me worthy of love, understanding and an apology.
Happy Father’s Day to my Uncle Pablo, who I still to this day would be honored to call him my dad!!!
