Do you know how much I hear: “I am not as smart as you”, “I don’t have a husband”, “Everyone likes you”, “You are brave”, “I don’t make the same kind of money you do”, — I could go on.
These phrases sting like I am being poked with a very sharp object. Like a surface cut, it may not hurt right away but it stings when wet. It has become a factor that has made me disassociate with some of the people in my life. Why? Because life happens to everyone.
Maybe that’s why God moved me to make this year’s theme “live out loud.” The challenges with my daughter did not start last week. It has been an ongoing journey. Like many parents, my family has been trying working both together and individually to get through some of our challenges.
I turned inward for a while after a family member almost gushed at the fact that one of my sons was going through a hard time. “You mean HE is not perfect?!”. Ouch! No we are not perfect we just know how to press on.
Over the last couple of years, we have built a strong support system. Still at the end of the day, we are all left to deal with our problem alone — relying on God and reflecting on the lesson.
Today was a hard day. I cried while on conference calls and while sitting in my office. I know I desperately needed to do something for someone so that I don’t wallow in my own sadness. Even though I sit and worry about my daughter … almost wanting to beg her to come home, I know this is a moment she will regret and an event that will mean some tough consequences.
Folks this is what living out loud is about. You must have the courage to live your purpose. You must have the courage to deal with your feelings. You must have the courage to see that you are a human experiencing life (and not bad luck).
I pray that God keeps my daughter safe. I pray that is part of his will. The rest, I do not worry about until I am faced with something different. Today was one of those days that it was hard to do anything. But I did do something.
Today was a day that I would rather not write … but then I would not be living out loud. We all have the same type of events and experiences. Even in this dark moment I am thoroughly blessed. As much as I would like to just get in my bed and not get out until this is all over, I can’t. That is not how I am built nor is it what God wants from me.