Lesson 4 – Trust with no guarantees

As you can imagine, my life changed drastically when my mom died. In the blink of an eye, so many changes took place–more than my twelve-year-old mind could absorb. The most startling thing for me was how cruel adults could be. I had no idea that the people in the fiction books I read really existed. While my young mind was traumatized by many of the events in my childhood, I instinctually prayed for God not to close my heart. Though many of the adults who surrounded me violated my trust, I knew I could not stop trusting EVERYONE around me.

I did not trust the most important one

I did not realize until recently that something much worse happened: I had lost faith in myself. It was inevitable that I would lose faith in others. I thought my faith was shaken after I let a childhood mentor into my home and she violated my trust. It’s only now I realized that my lack of belief in myself  made me susceptible to those who would exploit it.

When you don’t trust you, you don’t trust God

Did you know that when you say you only trust God and no one else, it is often an excuse not to trust at all? I did not know what trusting in God meant until recently. You see, we all have God in us. All the answers, love and trust come from within. You can’t trust God if you don’t trust you. Why? Because God is a part of you. You carry every tool you need to survive heartache, learn from mistakes and face any challenges.

Why trust yourself when you are not perfect

Many of you may think that I have lost my mind. You might think, “But we are flawed. How can you trust something that is flawed?” Do you know that every renowned life coach, every billionaire and every expert in each field became subject matter experts through their failures, frustrations, hiccups and moments when they wanted to give up? The knowledge they gained through their studies gave them only the theory behind their actions. While book smarts are important, it is just the beginning. Wisdom (which comes through the experience of application and learning from the results) is the result of trust.

How to learn to trust with no guarantees

Have you ever said that you would never trust a man again because one broke your heart? Or you will never get close to someone again because a friend broke your trust? Or maybe you lost a pet and think that you will never trust love like that again. In order to fully trust, you have to be willing to believe that while your expectations may not be met, you will learn and grow from the experience.

• You can’t judge others based on a handful of experiences. You have to learn how to evaluate a situation and find the lesson. When you judge people based on what someone else did to you, you are really saying that you do not have faith in your judgment.
• In order to gain trust in yourself, listen to your intuition, your inside voice…your soul. That is God speaking to you.
• Do not get discouraged by the fear, insecurity or anxiety you feel when you practice trust. All you need is courage. At first you won’t trust gracefully; it’s a wobbly experience. But it is two steps forward and only one step back in the beginning.
• Get to the bottom of your feelings. It’s called a root-cause study on why you do not have trust. When you peel away at the onion, you will find there is so much joy in discovering the truth about your feelings.
• Pray your problems away. When you pray, acknowledge your feeling through meditation and ask God within you to help you find some resolve then release.

In order to trust anyone, you have to have faith that no matter what you go through, you will learn a lesson from it. Do not close your heart—for when you close your heart, you disconnect from God. In order to trust others, you must trust God and you can’t have faith in God if you don’t have faith in what God created. You are God’s replica.